2 Months Gone

Well it has been about 2 months since I came back from the summer holiday and promised not to drink again. I have done it but it has been hard in some ways and satisfying in others. Here's how I did it. I decided back in April or May that I would do it and then started to think about how to do it. Cold Turkey or cut down? I cannot just cut down things, I have to give them up so option 1 was only ever going to´be the way to go. After my 40th birthday I nearly did it but didn't have the will power, got stressed at work and the next thing I knew i was up late playing Warcraft and having a bottle of lovely wine.

When I came back from holiday, I had had the chance to relax and really reflect on things, spend so much tome with the kids and relax. This was a perfect opportunity, which I wouldn't see again for a year, if I missed that window. When I came back, I stopped.

I don't believe that just stopping drinking would have worked for long. For me, if I have to give something up; I have to change my lifestyle. I was also overweight from my sedentary evenings, booze drinking and lack of exercise. Also, I was seriously lacking motivation at work and when you have your own business, this is the worst situation to be in. When you are behind with bills, you just cannot..cannot..go into a hole and hope something will turn up. (believe me). The only way to get out of trouble is to go out there and get more business.

So i attacked my lifestyle/drinking on 3 levels.

1) I stopped drinking completely. My advice here is not to do this in secret which is what I tried to do to start with because you always have that option to start again and no-one will be any the wiser. Tell your family/spouse and close friends.

2) I started running. Not so far at first but at least 3 times a week. Building up distance and time every week.

3) I revisited Stephen Coveys, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. The best lessons here that I revisit all of the time are, 1) Be proactive, First things First and Begin with the End in mind. I also made the quadrant to see where I was devoting my time. I can't do the book justice here but i i highly recommend it. I got proactive in my work. I made a massive list of all the things I had been procrastinating about, people i should have called back and projects I should have started.

I have become incredibly busy at work in a positive way, almost too busy for one person.
I have lost 10 kilos. My BMI has gone from 28.6 down to 25.
I have stopped drinking permanently because the good outways the bad by 100 times.

There have been negatives.

It's difficult to be the same person you were before you stopped drinking. I mean on a personal level with your spouse. Booze makes you say more, relax more and maybe be kinder because booze make you nostalgic and loving in a kind of fuzzy drunk way.

I have missed booze. I have missed it when I need to relax after work and haven't had the chance to go for a run. Generally though, my sleep has got better and I can get to sleep more easily even if I am stressed.

I hope I can keep this up because it has given my the opportunity to be the person I want to be and not a shadow of that person.

Annoying Mrs X

My new found energy level is a bit annoying to my better half.

Our alarm will normally go off at 6.15 a.m. where we get up and get the kids up. For some reason, I wake up at 6.00 a.m. Don't know why. I just want to get up and start making packed lunches, coffee and breakfast. Mrs X does not like to be woken before the designated time.

I like to get up early at the weekend and take the kids swimming too. If you get there early you miss the crowds. Again this is slightly annoying to Mrs X as she likes a good lie in. To be fair, I don't mind taking them on my own.

A Party

We went to a party on Saturday without the kids which would normally be a chance to get a bit tipsy and smooch a bit. The party was good and I spoke to a few friends about not drinking any more. I think peoples reactions are actually based on how they see themselves. Some people, I really believe, get a little bit defensive too. They take the fact that I have given up drinking and my reasons for it as an actual attack on their own habits.

Other people are very understanding. It's difficult to enjoy a party in the same way when everyone is getting drunk and you are not. Dancing is particularly difficult to start as the lack of Dutch Courage makes you feel a bit of a plonker. I did dance however and didn't do too bad.

I really enjoy waking up with a clear head the next day. That, on its own is a great blessing.

How Long Now

It has been 5 weeks since I had my last drink and I here's a check to see how I actually am after this time.

Most of the time I have been feeling positive about it. I feel good about how I feel now and how my exercise routine is actually affecting me positively.

I run 3 or 4 times a week for a 9 km circuit. When i get home from this, I sleep like a log. If I don't run, I do have problems getting off to sleep but I think this is because I leave it too late sometimes and get over tired. Before, a bottle of wine and a couple of beers could guarantee that I get to sleep in a muddled, deep, snoring, sodden slumber.

I don't snore anymore. I have lost 8 kilos in 5 weeks. I can fit shirts that I haven't worn for ages. Health wise I am doing well and on track.

Personally, I am finding it difficult to be the new me. I am very focused inwardly and at work but seem distant at home. I have to start tiring to address this balance. This hasn't been helped by the fact that I have been 10 times more proactive at work and thereby 10 times busier. So I have been running 3 nights and working the other 2. Mrs X is understandably a little frustrated and we aren't communicating effectively. Although I am planning in my calender to spend a couple of nights a week with no TV, computer and playing games, chatting instead, this hasn't happened.

Not to mention that my hearing is really bad in my right ear so I am probably going to have to wear a damn hearing aid.

Life goes on in a booze free way. This is just the first few weeks.

Social Pressure and incomprehension

I am encountering a lot of this at the moment. I am not sure if it is because of how people see me or how they see drinking as a whole. Whilst in the South of France we were sitting in Cannes having dinner watching the rich and the beautiful drifting past, I told a friend that I didn't drink anymore. He said, 'So when are you going to start again?' He assumed that I had just taken a temporary abstinence. When I said never. he said I was a twat and of course I would start again. I said he should go and give that supportive speech to the AA meetings!

Another friend I went out with last night just thought it was strange and a bit sad that we couldn't drink beers together anymore. He actually didn't drink as much as we would have done normally. Maybe in sympathy.